


Text Message Transcripts between Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes (vol 4)

by LokiOfSassgaard



Series: Text Message Transcripts [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-02
Updated: 2011-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:19:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6345736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiOfSassgaard/pseuds/LokiOfSassgaard





	Text Message Transcripts between Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes (vol 4)

Need a new phone. This time it really is urgent.  
SH

And what did you do with yours, or do I even want to know?  
Mycroft

It’s at the bottom of the Thames.  
SH

I’m probably going to regret this, but why?  
Mycroft

John threw it there. I told him to get me a new phone, but he refuses. I pick pocketed his, so it’s only a matter of time before he comes back for it.  
SH

Again, why?  
Mycroft

I don’t know. Something about not seeing the bigger picture or some such nonsense.  
SH

I’ve reviewed the tape. Did you really think you could get away with such a blatant lie?  
Mycroft

Okay, so he didn’t exactly throw it. But it is still his fault, and I still need a new phone.  
SH

How many other people do you suspect manage to go through half a dozen phones in less than a year?  
Mycroft

How many other people do you suspect have the same sort of job that I do, which comes with certain risks?  
SH

Are you asking how many other people are technically unemployed and living off of government assistance?  
Mycroft

I get paid!  
SH

When? I know the Yard doesn’t pay you, and you haven’t taken a single private case in months.  
Mycroft

How’s the wife?  
SH

I’ll tell you when you can tell me her name.  
Mycroft

Does she know you’re sleeping with your PA?  
SH

You are no fun when you text. Ignoring me doesn’t mean you win, you know.  
SH

I wasn’t aware this was a competition.  
Mycroft

You say that every time.  
SH

Because I know how much you like to hear it.  
Mycroft

Dr Watson, please give Sherlock back the phone. I wasn’t done with him.  
Mycroft Holmes

You should have seen the look on his face just now.  
SH

I did.  
Mycroft

Of course. Now, back to the matter at hand. Need new phone. ETA?  
SH

I’m half tempted to let you go a weekend without one, actually. You might learn something from it.  
Mycroft

Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to deserve that?  
SH

I can make it a week. Shall we try that?  
Mycroft

I hate you.  
SH

Hopefully Dr Watson is in the mood to teach you how to pay a phone bill. You can even use the expense account.  
Mycroft

I still have internet access, you know.  
SH

Do you?  
Mycroft

Mycroft, I swear to god I am going to kill you. Put it back.  
SH

Did you just threaten a government official?  
Mycroft

Yes. And I dare you to do something about it.  
SH

Oh, yes. Real mature. Mrs Hudson will be having a fit now that you’ve cut our power as well. I didn’t even know you could do that.  
SH

I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, dear brother.  
Mycroft

Put it back.  
SH

Put what back?  
Mycr oft

You know what.  
SH

Now the internet.  
SH

New security act just went through today. People suspected of terrorist involvement are not permitted access to the world wide web.  
Mycroft

It’s World Wide Web. Capitalised. Get it right.  
SH

Fine. I don’t know how to do this, and John is refusing to help. He is actually taking your side on this. Can I have my internet back, please?  
SH

There. That wasn’t so hard, now was it?  
Mycroft

John would also like to have his phone back, so can I have a new phone? It would make him very happy.  
SH

Please.  
SH

ETA: 30 minutes.  
Mycroft

Good.  
SH

I mean, thank you.  
SH

You’re very welcome. See, that didn't hurt at all, did it?  
Mycroft

Piss off.  
SH

 


End file.
